If God Wanted You to Adopt You Would Already Have the Money

I’m sure the person that posted this comment to me didn’t mean it to hurt.  I’m sure that somewhere in their heart they believe what they said.  Because they used “God” I’m assuming they are Christian.  Maybe I’m wrong.  I’m of the belief that if one person says something, then that means that 100 are thinking it.  I’m sure there are both Christians and non-Christians on my Facebook that think it.  So let’s get it out in the open and talk about it.

1. Not everyone who has been blessed with lots of expendable money wants to adopt.

That’s a reality of life.  There are millions of people with expendable money and the last thing on their minds is adopting a child or teenager.  Maybe they have other causes that are dear to them.  Maybe they already have a large family they are supporting.  Maybe they just want “the good life”.  I’m in no way judging here.  My belief is that if you earned the money then you should have the say-so in how you spend it.  I’m happy for anyone in this position and someday I’m planning to be there, too.  If you want a getaway in Aruba more power to you.  Maybe you’ll invite me to hang out there and relax a bit – I could definitely use that!  HA!

2.  Not everyone with a heart for bringing a child or teenager into their home and family has money.

That’s another reality of life.  In fact, as part of adoption community I would say that MOST people who are adopting have to work for it.  Actually now that we’re on our second adoption journey I realize that it’s part of the process of adopting. 

I don’t know if the person who wrote the above has ever been part of a fundraising effort.  Believe me when I tell you it is NOT FUN!  Essentially you have to beg from your friends, families and strangers.  Now that might be easy for some people but the people I know who are in this process HATE IT!  And that includes me.  I absolutely detest asking anyone for anything and money is at the top of that list.  I have been an independent person since about the age of 5 and now in my mid-50’s this is not the time to start asking for help.

However, when you are faced with a teenager who, without your help, will end up on the street, most likely dead within a few months, all of a sudden what you want is not important.  What you like or don’t like doesn’t matter anymore.  You grit your teeth and make the call.  You write out the words of a Facebook post and close your eyes and silently pray and hit enter.  You write out your story and mail it out, stopping your hand just as the letters are being dropped into the post office box and think, “Am I really doing this?  Asking my friends and family for money?”  Then you let go and the letters fall into the collection box.  You hang your head, tears in your eyes, and silently pray one word – “please”.

Please let all of this make a difference. The taking of a prideful person and making them humble.  It hurts.  It’s hard.  But if it makes a difference to one orphan then it’s worth it all.

You watch the calendar speed by and know you have no where near enough money to make it happen.  You don’t talk to God daily.  You talk to Him every 10 minutes.  You just say the words over and over again – I trust You, I trust You, I trust You.

To the person who wrote me saying if God wanted you to adopt you would already have the money and to everyone who is thinking it I say this.  You’re wrong.  It’s about Him and His Glory.  It’s about Him coming in at the last minute and showing His Power.  He couldn’t do that if we already had it all taken care of. 

What God wants is for someone to step up and say, I will.  And then believe that He will provide.  He calls people who are willing to put their own needs and wants aside to do things they would never do because those are the people who will take in an orphan teenager with crazy kinds of issues and say, I will be their parent.  Through thick and thin.  I will be the one they can finally trust.  I will be the one that gives them boundaries and rules.  I will be the one who cries with them over everything they have lost.  I will be the one who struggles with them trying to learn math and English.  I will be the one who takes them to the dentist for the first time in their lives and then explains to them why they have to have braces to save their teeth.  I will be the one who spends hours with their teachers to give them a chance to catch up from never being in a decent school.  

I will.  I will do the hard stuff that no one else wants to do.  I will grit my teeth and ask because He promises that when we ask, He will provide.  And how does He provide?  Through people like my friends and family who have donated.  Those people are His people who also said, I will.

God didn’t call us to adopt because we had the money.  He called us to adopt because He knew we would say, I will, and that He would be able to show His Glory on the “HOW”.  If we had the money, what would we need Him for?

God is showing us His Love by providing, by making this happen.  I get a ring-side seat in watching Him at work.  When a person I barely know sends a check for $500 because she felt she needed to that is Him at work.  When another person sends $1200 and they are barely getting by themselves, that is Him at work.  I get to watch all of that.  What a privilege.  

I don’t know why God asked us to adopt these teenagers.  I only know that He did and He promised that when we obey Him that we have access to all of His promises. 

Hosea 14:3 In you the orphan finds mercy. 

Every person who helped us bring Vlad home and every person who is helping us bring Yuri and Kristina home has a part in that verse.  You have helped the orphan.  Us needing the money has allowed so many other people to take part in this journey with us.  We are all saying, I will.

Tom and I are working hard at our business.  God is blessing us immensely in this process.  Our goal is that someday when all of this personal adoption is behind us that He will continually bless us so that we can help others on this journey.  In the meantime, we need your help to make this adoption happen.  Be a part of this amazing journey to give two teenage orphans a family and a future.  A future with real school, dentists, health, and a future of college and marriage and children of their own.  Join with us to help make this happen. 

Thank you.

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3 Responses to If God Wanted You to Adopt You Would Already Have the Money

  1. Leah Kohler says:

    I’m not sure if it’s the same person, but about a week ago somebody left a comment in my blog, saying that “if God wanted us to adopt, we would not have all the bumps in the road that we have”. I would say it’s the same person and this person is NOT serving the God that I know.

    I’ve deleted this comment and wrote a post about it: http://thekohlersjourney.blogspot.com/2014/03/adoption-is-not-for-faint-of-heart.html

    Btw: somebody else I know had a comment exactly like yours this in their blog.

  2. Kathe Ray says:

    Leah I think there are a lot of people out there that just don’t understand this thing called adoption, especially aging out teenager adoption. They don’t understand that God puts it on your heart and you can’t say no. And that because of timing we don’t have years to save up like infant adoptions. Would they rather these teens just age out and die on the streets???? And I agree, just because lack of money or other bumps that doesn’t tell us not to do a thing. Even Jesus Himself told us the road is narrow, and hard and few are on it. How can we expect something He tells us to do to be easy when He said it wouldn’t be. Some people just don’t know their Bibles. Hang in there!

  3. Annie says:

    That comment is the funniest thing I’ve ever heard! I wonder if she tells her husband, “If God wanted me to cook dinner, there would already be food in the house.” Or, if God wanted that car to run, He’d fill it with gas! The possibilities along this line are endless. There are a lot of weird and mean people out there, Kathe. I found out that I was being pilloried on a couple of websites that are just set up to criticize others in a mean an unfounded way. One of the “threads” on the one I looked at focuses on “Christian Adoption Blogs”. The scary thing was that even though I had tried to take the precaution of using pseudonyms so my children’s friends couldn’t google them, these sites used our real names. When I was directed to another internet location where someone was trying to tell the Russian government our family should be “investigated” I had to make my blog private. I feel less innocent.

    All I can say, is watch out.

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